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Date: Fri, 5 Jun 1998 11:21:21 -0600
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Subject: Too True to be Funny
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Status: R

Signs you work in the 90's

21. Cleaning up the dining area means getting the fast food bags out of
the back seat of your car.

20. Your reason for not staying in touch with family is that they do
not have email addresses.

19. Keeping up with sports entails adding ESPN's homepage to your
bookmarks.

18. You have a "to do list" that includes entries for lunch and
bathroom breaks and they are usually the ones that never get crossed
off.

17. You have actually faxed your Christmas list to your parents.

16. Pick up lines now include a reference to liquid assets and capital
gains.

15. You consider 2nd day Air Delivery and Inner-office Mail painfully
slow.(!!!)

14. You assume any question about whether to valet park or not is
rhetorical.

13. You refer to your dining room table as the flat filing cabinet.

12. Your idea of being organized is multiple colored post-it notes.

11. Your grocery list has been on your refrigerator so long some of the
products don't even exist anymore.

10. You lecture the neighborhood kids selling lemonade on ways to
improve their process.

9.  You get all excited when it's Saturday so you can wear sweats to
work.

8.  You refer to the tomatoes grown in your garden as deliverables.

7.  You find you really need PowerPoint to explain what you do for a
living.

6.  You normally eat out of vending machines and at the most expensive
restaurant in town within the same week.

5.  You think that "progressing an action plan" and "calendarizing a
project" are acceptable English phrases.

4.  You know the people at the airport hotels better than your next
door neighbors.

3.  You ask your friends to "think out of the box" when making Friday
night plans.

2.  You think Einstein would have been more effective had he  put his
ideas into a matrix.

And, the number one sign you work in the nineties...

1.  You think a "half-day" means leaving at 5 o'clock