This question was posed to the Usenet Oracle: > If you drop a buttered piece of bread, it will fall on the > floor butter-side down. If a cat is dropped from a window > or other high and towering place, it will land on it's feet. > > But what if you attach a buttered piece of bread, butter-side > up to a cat's back and toss them both out the window? > Will the cat land on it's feet? Or will the butter splat on > the ground? > > -Mike And in response, thus spake the Oracle: } Even if you are too lazy to do the experiment yourself you should be } able to deduce the obvious result. The laws of butterology demand } that the butter must hit the ground, and the equally strict laws of } feline aerodynamics demand that the cat can not smash it's furry back. } If the combined construct were to land, nature would have no way to } resolve this paradox. Therefore it simply does not fall. } } That's right you clever mortal (well, as clever as a mortal can get), } you have discovered the secret of antigravity! A buttered cat will, } when released, quickly move to a height where the forces of } cat-twisting and butter repulsion are in equilibrium. This equilibrium } point can be modified by scraping off some of the butter, providing } lift, or removing some of the cat's limbs, allowing descent. } } Most of the civilized species of the Universe already use this } principle to drive their ships while within a planetary system. The } loud humming heard by most sighters of UFOs is, in fact, the purring of } several hundred tabbies. } } The one obvious danger is, of course, if the cats manage to eat the } bread off their backs they will instantly plummet. Of course the cats } will land on their feet, but this usually doesn't do them much good, } since right after they make their graceful landing several tons of } red-hot starship and pissed off aliens crash on top of them.