Text item: All, Many of you may remeber this from a while back (I believe I first sent it last October) but I found it again and got another chuckle so here it is again. I have been in a dry spell for new material so if any of you have anything light please forward it to me. Regards, Todd Subject: Cars and Computers... If people treated cars like they treat computers... HelpLine: "General Motors HelpLine, how can I help you?" Customer: "I got in my car and closed the door and nothing happened!" HelpLine: "Did you put the key in the ignition slot and turn it?" Customer: "What's an ignition?" HelpLine: "It's a starter motor that draws current from your battery and turns over the engine." Customer: "Ignition? Motor? Battery? Engine? How come I have to know all these technical terms just to use my car?" HelpLine: "General Motors HelpLine, how can I help you?" Customer: "My car ran fine for a week and now it won't go anywhere!" HelpLine: "Is the gas tank empty?" Customer: "Huh? How do I know?" HelpLine: "There's a little gauge on the front panel with a needle and markings from 'E' to 'F'. Where is the needle pointing?" Customer: "It's pointing to 'E'. What does that mean?" HelpLine: "It means you have to visit a gasoline vendor and purchase some more gasoline. You can install it yourself or pay the vendor to install it for you." Customer: "What? I paid $12,000 for this car! Now you tell me that I have to keep buying more components? I want a car that comes with everything built in!" HelpLine: "General Motors HelpLine, how can I help you?" Customer: "Your cars suck!" HelpLine: "What's wrong?" Customer: "It crashed, that's what wrong!" HelpLine: "What were you doing?" Customer: "I wanted to run faster, so I pushed the accelerator pedal all the way to the floor. It worked for a while and then it crashed and it won't start now! HelpLine: "It's your responsibility if you misuse the product. What do you expect us to do about it?" Customer: "I want you to send me one of the latest version that doesn't crash any more!" HelpLine: "General Motors HelpLine, how can I help you?" Customer: "Hi, I just bought my first car, and I chose your car because it has automatic transmission, cruise control, power steering, power brakes, and power door locks." HelpLine: "Thanks for buying our car. How can I help you?" Customer: "How do I work it?" HelpLine: "Do you know how to drive?" Customer: "Do I know how to what?" HelpLine: "Do you know how to drive?" Customer: "I'm not a technical person. I just want to go places in my car!" Text item: External Message Header The following mail header is for administrative use and may be ignored unless there are problems. ***IF THERE ARE PROBLEMS SAVE THESE HEADERS***. To: "Cheryl Ewy" , "Chris Andersen" , "Craig Hext" , "Eric Merriman*" , "Jeff Davies" , "Jim Brewer" , "Joe Bocchieri" , "John Arkley" , "John Darrah" , "John Spalitta" <72134.225@compuserve.com>, "Karen Wenzel" , "Larry Marrs" , "Mark Cleveland" , "Patrick Bong" , "Peri Frantz" , "Reed Keel" , "Rick Dorin" , "Steve Ketchum" , "Trina Davis" , "Brian Strull" , "Erik Eidt" , "Jack Littleton" , "Lee Collings" , "Matthew Melmon" , "Paul Dumais" Subject: Cars and Computers... From: "Michael Milligan" Date: 19 Oct 1994 10:24:41 -0700 Message-Id: <9410191825.AA16124@federal-excess.apple.com> Received: from powertalk.apple.com by federal-excess.apple.com with SMTP (5.64/2 id AA16124; Wed, 19 Oct 94 11:25:25 PDT for davis@acuson.com Received: from federal-excess.apple.com by alink-gw.apple.com with SMTP (921113. id AA01185; Wed, 19 Oct 94 11:25:59 -0700 for William_R_Keel@ccm.fm.intel.com Received: from alink-gw.apple.com by hermes.intel.com (5.65/10.0i); Wed, 19 Oct Received: from hermes.intel.com by relay.jf.intel.com with smtp (Smail3.1.28.1 #2) id m0qxfky-000tweC; Wed, 19 Oct 94 11:29 PDT