> Silly quotes from actual consumer product packages > and instructions, as well as from newspapers: > > >On a bag of JONNY CAT cat litter -- "JONNY CAT is the best value for >your money. A 20-pound bag of JONNY CAT contains 25% more litter >than 16-pound bags, and 43% more than 14-pound bags!" > >>From a kid's Superman costume for Halloween (stitched into the >cape's tag) -- "Warning: Use of This Device Does Not Enable Wearer To >Fly." > >>From a Pop-Tart box -- "Warning: Pastry Filling May Be Hot When >Heated." > >>From a newspaper article -- "A congressionally funded study has >determined that many smokers are ignoring the warning labels on >cigarette packages" > >>From a hair blow-dryer instruction sheet -- "Warning: Do Not Use >While Sleeping." > >On the package for Top Cog fan belts (for automobiles) -- "Do not >change the belt while the engine is running." > >>From a Boston Globe piece, during a 1973 summer heat wave describing >ways to beat the heat -- "No. 1: Stay out of the direct rays of the >sun." > >Found on the inside of a pull top lid of a liquid radiator sealant >--"Caution: DO NOT LICK LID." > >Written on the back of one of those things you put in your car >windshield on sunny days when you park to keep your dash from >melting -- "DO NOT OPERATE VEHICLE WITH SCREEN IN PLACE." > >>From the Indigo PC Owners Manual pp.6-9 -- "Hardware Dos and Don'ts: >Do not dangle the mouse by its cable or throw mouse at co-workers." > > >On a box of those cloth roller towels in a restroom -- "Warning! >Improper use may cause serious injury or death!" > > >