From esi@emerald.gene.com Mon Jan 13 08:10 PST 1997
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From: "Elizabeth Ingle" <esi@gene.COM>
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Date: Mon, 13 Jan 1997 08:01:05 -0800
In-Reply-To: "LEE HEARD" <lee_heard@kirkland.com>
        "have a chuckle on me" (Jan 10,  2:20pm)
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To: "LEE HEARD" <lee_heard@kirkland.com>, bchill@ucdavis.edu,
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Subject: Re: have a chuckle on me
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Status: RO

Lee, dude, you did not get the whole story.  See attached.

Liza


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     2 New Elements for the periodic chart:

     Element:  WOMEN

     Symbol:  Wo

     Atomic Weight:  120 (more or less, usually more)

     Physical Properties:  Generally round in form.  Boils at nothing and
     may freeze anytime.  Melts whenever treated properly.  Very bitter if
     not used well.

     Chemical Properties:  Very active.  Highly unstable.  Possesses strong
     affinity to gold, silver, platinum, and precious stones.  Violent when
        left alone.  Able to absorb great amounts of exotic food. Turns
     slightly green when placed next to a better specimen.  Ages rapidly.

     Usage:  Highly ornamental.  An extremely good catalyst for dispersion
     of wealth.  Probably the most powerful income reducing agent known.

     Caution:  Highly explosive in inexperienced hands.

     ============================================

     Element:  MAN

     Symbol:  XY

     Atomic Weight:  180+/-100

     Physical Properties:  Solid at room temperature but gets bent out of
     shape.  Fairly dense and sometimes flaky.  Difficult to find a pure
     sample.  Due to rust, aging samples are unable to conduct electricity
     as easily as young fresh samples.

     Chemical Properties:  Attempts to bond with Wo any chance it can get.
     Also, tends to form strong bonds with itself.  Becomes explosive when
      mixed with Kd (element Kid) for prolonged period of time.  Pretty
     basic. Neutralize by saturating with alcohol.

     Usage:  None really, except methane production.  Good samples are able
     to produce large quantities on command.

     Caution:  In the absence of Wo, this element rapidly decomposes and
     begins to smell.