SOME COMPUTER "DAFFYNITIONS" FROM BAUD

      APPLE MENU: List you select from at a Washington state fruit stand.
           BASIC: Computer language used for generating errors.  Most billing
                  programs are apparently written in BASIC.
           CHIPS: What cattleman have too many of, and computer owners too few
                  of
         CHOOSER: The right to select an Apple over those "other" machines
CUSTOMER SUPPORT: The chair you sit on when you call Apple Computer, Inc. for
                   help
             CPU: C3PO's mother CURSOR - a programmer driven to the use of foul
                  language by his/her computer
      DIALOG BOX: Friendly conversation from your computer
      DISK DRIVE: A motor for a Frisbee
           EPROM: An acronym for "Exit Program, Read Owner's Manual"
           FONTS: What you alway want one more of
          MEMORY: Miniatured elephants used for information storage in a
                  computer
         MONITOR: A huge, ugly oriental lizard that eats American computers
            NeXT: Reinvention of the black box
        PASSWORD: The nonsense word taped to the CRT
        PASSWORD: Thing you need to operate your computer but can't recall it
             RAM: What you would like to do to your machine when it crashes
            SAVE: What you should do before you buy a computer
          SCROLL: What the instructions do when you are trying to read them
        SOFTWARE: The padded covers your wife makes to hide your computer
    UPGRADITOSIS: A progressive disease that makes you want the absolute latest
                  version of a program even though you are perfectly happy with
                  the version you have.

 VOLATILE MEMORY: When the computer only accepts caustic, nasty-sounding kinds