------------------------------------------------------------- Troy B. Williams tbw1@acpub.duke.edu Home (919) 613-0819 __________________________________ Never wrestle with a pig. You both get dirty but only the pig enjoys it. ---------------------------------------------- ---------- Forwarded message ---------- Date: Fri, 2 May 1997 09:43:53 -0400 (EDT) From: HAND! To: Recipients - HAND Subject: Your 'Have A Nice Day' Laugh #0434 ***** H.A.N.D. is generously sponsored by 1-800-SEND-123 ********** ~~~~~~ 800-SEND-123 ..remember that's 800-SEND-One-Two-Three ~~~~~~~~ Call to have flowers, balloons, baskets and gifts delivered anywhere in the WORLD. Order by phone. Save 10% say HAND-1296 ~~~~~~~ Ask for FREE color catalog (800)736-3123 ~~~~~~~~~ Your 'Have A Nice Day' Laugh is: CONFUCIOUS SAY Confucious Say: - America good place to put chinese restaurant. - Man who stands on toilet is high on pot. - Man who run behind car get exhausted. - Man who go to bed with a problem in hand wakes up in the morning with a solution in hand. - He who refuses to listen is lying. - He who eats too many prunes, sits on toilet many moons. - Man who put head on railroad track get splitting headache. - Wash your face in the morning, neck at night. - Crowded elevator smells different to midget. - Lady who live in glass house, dress in basement! - To make egg roll, push it. - Woman who puts detergent on top shelf, jump for Joy... - He who fart in church sit in own pew. - Man who sink into woman's arms will soon find arms in woman's sink. - Bread that is cast upon water gets soggy and sinks. - Never trust men with short legs, brains too near the bottom. - All men eat, but Fu Manchu. - Man who pushes piano down mineshaft get A flat miner. - Man who walk middle of road get run over by bus. - People who make Confucious joke speak bad English. - Woman who put husband in doghouse soon find him in cat-house. - Confucious say: I didn't say that!!! HAND! Have A Nice Day ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ To subscribe/unsubscribe to HAND list, send message to majordomo@bapp.com in body type: subscribe HAND Comments, send to Cheryl Rogers - smiles@bapp.com We hope you enjoy this list! .