* HOW TO BE ANNOYING * ================== * Specify that your drive-through order is "to go". * Change channels five minutes before the end of every show. * Rouse your roommates from slumber each morning with Lou Reed's "Metal Machine Music". * Push all the flat Lego pieces together tightly. * Inform others that they exist only in your imagination. * Ask people what gender they are. * Lie obviously about trivial things such as the time of day. * Insist upon watching PBS or A&E during the Super Bowl. * Tell everyone you meet about your "home planet". * Reminisce with people you just met. * Tell people you are waiting for "the sign". * Make restaurant reservations for "Jesus Christ, party of 13". * Offer to demonstrate the Karate Kid swan position during mass. * Ask people on which date Christmas falls this year. * Pose as a tour guide and relay misinformation about the thing you are giving a tour of. * Dlbrtly lv vwls t f vrythng y typ. * Tell people that your native language is Klingon and proceed to engage them in conversation in your "native tongue". * Ditto, but Pig Latin. * Bring out the photo albums during a date. * Sneeze at the moment someone kisses you. * Bark at full moons and tell people they had better get you home quickly. * Stare at people eating and lick your lips and rub your stomach. * Put all your friends on every email list you can find. (Don't get any ideas!).